Losing your identity


Why parents can lose their identity and our top tips for getting it back


Here at Isaac Anthony, we pride ourselves on supporting all of our lovely customers, especially when it comes to the highs and lows of parenting and all the challenges that come with it. This month in our #RealTalk blog, we wanted to tackle the important and extremely relatable topic of how your identity changes when you become a parent. 


Now it’s no surprise that with the events of the last few months, there has been an increase in those feelings of anxiety, worry and stress. Our daily dynamics have changed with our children becoming even more heavily reliant on us from morning until evening. Whilst we acknowledge that parenthood is a gift that we are all extremely lucky to have, we can also all admit it changes us as people.


One of the most common themes when parents speak of a lack of identity, is the element of moving away from yourself, your interests, your passions, and your needs. Your desires are now secondary and your life, simply put, now revolves around the needs of someone else. Parenthood can be a rollercoaster of nappy changes, sleepless nights and constant cleaning. Whilst researching topics, we came across a statistic that said parents spend ‘the equivalent of three 40-hour work weeks changing diapers, per child, per year and are forced to stop and attend to their toddlers 210 times every day’. Now having to do all that and still have a life can sound impossible right? So here are some of our top tips on reclaiming your identity:


1-Create a weekly schedule that factors in some alone time for yourself, whether it’s taking a bath, going for a walk or watching some wonderfully trashy reality TV. Time to yourself is important!


2-Make a list of everything you wanted to achieve before becoming a parent and pick something to revisit. It could be something as big as training for a marathon or as small as finally organising your wardrobe.


3-Join an online community. We’ve all fallen victim of wanting to appear, as if, our lives are perfect but having real, honest and open conversations with people in similar situations can work wonders.


4-Take care of yourself! When your everyday life consists of taking care of others, it’s easy to neglect yourself. You would be surprised how much a facemask, a new hairstyle or slapping on a bit of makeup can boost your self-esteem.


5- ‘Comparison is the thief of joy’, so stop comparing your new life as a parent to your previous, pre-child life. You can’t change your situation but you can adapt to it and learn to love and embrace who you are now.


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